Jeep Just Went Full Netflix-Price-Hike… And Everyone's Canceling Their Subscription

Remember when Netflix decided to jack up prices and everyone switched to their cousin's ex-roommate's password? Well, Stellantis (the company that owns Jeep, Ram, and other brands your dad probably loves) just pulled the same move with cars. And it's going about as well as Meta's first attempt at the Metaverse.

The $38 billion company is really shooting themselves in the foot here - they're spending money like there's no tomorrow even though things aren't looking great. They're stuck watching their stock crater 40% while sales are falling through the floor faster than sh*tcoins after an Elon tweet.

Speaking of questionable decisions, let's talk about CEO Carlos Tavares, who's speedrunning the "How to Piss Off Literally Everyone" challenge. My man's got dealers, investors, and union workers all united in a way that hasn't been seen since Game of Thrones fans after that final season.

The UAW is literally out there chanting "Sh*tcan Carlos" like they're at a particularly angry Zach Bryan concert. When your workers start treating you like you're the villain in an episode of "Undercover Boss," you might want to rethink your strategy.

Here's the genius move Tavares pulled: He looked at Jeep (the brand literally built on being the affordable fun car your cool neighbor had) and thought, "What if we made these cost as much as a house down payment?" The average Stellantis vehicle now costs $56,000. That's $11,000 above the industry average. For that kind of money, you could buy a Tesla Model 3 and still have enough left over for a year's worth of "But I thought you liked Tesla?" therapy sessions.

Let me paint you a picture that's uglier than a Chrysler Aztek (oh wait, that was GM... but you get the point): Jeep sales are down 36% from pre-pandemic levels, the Gladiator pickup (their "savior" vehicle) is down 21% this year, and dealers have more inventory than a Costco before a hurricane. The Gladiator, which was supposed to be Jeep's comeback kid, is now sitting on dealer lots with price tags up to $72,000. 

The dealers are revolting fast. Kevin Farrish (head dealer guy) wrote the kind of open letter that makes HR departments need vacation days. Basically said, "Hey Carlos, what if – and hear me out here – we actually tried selling cars people can afford?" One dealer, Dave Kelleher, summed it up perfectly: "Some bean counters made bad mistakes." 

Now, about that investment potential... At these prices, Stellantis stock looks about as tempting as gas station sushi. Could it bounce back? Sure. The same way I could win a marathon – technically possible, but I wouldn't bet your 401(k) on it.

The bull case on this one is thin. Carlos "Let's Make Everything Expensive" Tavares retires in 2026, they might remember people can't afford $72,000 Jeeps, and the Cherokee and Renegade are coming back in 2026 (if anyone's still around to buy them). 

At least we can look forward to 2026, when Tavares rides off into the sunset in his probably-overpriced Jeep Grand Wagoneer (assuming he can afford the payments). Until then, maybe stick to buying their stock the same way you should approach that gas station sushi – very carefully, and only after extensive research and a current tetanus shot. 

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Stock.News has positions in Stellantis, Netflix, Meta, Tesla, and GM mentioned in article.