Elon’s EDM Party Flops on Wall Street

Elon Musk threw a party on Thursday night, and let’s just say it was less of a business event and more of a tech-fueled rave (because who needs boring investor calls when you have robots mixing drinks?). Humanoid bartenders? Check. Cars that don’t need drivers? Double check. 

Tesla’s shiny Cybercab took center stage, with EDM blasting in the background, of course (because nothing says "financial strategy" like a bass drop). But while the flashy robots shook cocktails like they had something to prove, Wall Street wasn’t exactly feeling the beat. Investors were left asking the real question: “Cool party, Elon, but where’s the actual business plan?”

Tesla shares tumbled 9% already this morning, proving that not even robot bartenders can save you from investor skepticism. Turns out, when your CEO is out here promising a robotaxi revolution while failing to provide the roadmap for it, stockholders get a little nervous.

Elon loves to dream big, and this event was no exception. The Cybercab, Tesla’s sleek new two-seater, came with promises of autonomy—no pedals, no steering wheel, just you and your overpriced Uber experience without a driver. Oh, and for the low, low price of $30,000. Sounds like a bargain, right?

(Source: Gagadget.com)

Except there’s a catch. While Musk is talking about building these futuristic Cybercabs by 2027, investors were hoping for something a little more, well, realistic. You know, like a business plan that makes sense today. Or, I don’t know, maybe an actual update on when Tesla will have Full Self-Driving (FSD) ready to roll in existing cars? Instead, what they got was a lot of dancing robots and a vague promise of unsupervised FSD in Texas and California maybe by next year.

Look, everyone loves a good spectacle, but analysts were not exactly buying what Elon was selling. Barclays analysts straight-up said the event was "light on details" and too heavy on Musk’s long-term vision of turning Tesla into an AI-driven powerhouse. Sure, it’s exciting to think about, but where are the updates on FSD progress, or that affordable $25,000 Tesla we were promised years ago?

Even more telling? Shares of Uber and Lyft jumped 5% and 7% respectively today. Turns out, the ride-hailing kings aren’t exactly shaking in their boots over Tesla’s latest robotaxi reveal. When the competition gets a shot in the arm after your big show, that’s a red flag.

For Tesla, it’s not just the Cybercab that’s underwhelming. The stock has been all over the place lately. Yes, it’s up nearly 50% since April, thanks to Elon’s hype machine around robotaxis. But zoom out a bit, and you’ll see shares are still down 12% over the last year, while the S&P 500 soared 33%. 

Ross Gerber, a Tesla shareholder and CEO of Gerber Kawasaki Wealth and Investment Management, put it bluntly: “For now, for the next 24 months, Tesla has to sell EVs. Why aren’t we focused on that?” It’s a fair question. While Musk is out here selling the dream of autonomous driving and robot bartenders, Tesla’s bread and butter (the good ol' Model 3 and Model Y) are up against cheaper competitors. You can only cut prices so much before your investors start to wonder if there’s an actual strategy beyond just hype.

Sure, there’s a lot of skepticism, but some investors still believe in the long-term vision. Ramesh Poola, co-chief investment officer at Creative Planning, admitted he was impressed by the presentation, but, like everyone else, was hoping for more concrete details on how this grand AI and robotics vision is going to be monetized. "Cybercab may not necessarily be next year, but down the road, the viability is there," he said, proving that there’s still some hope left for Musk’s ambitious plans.

In the meantime, though, Tesla is trailing rivals like Waymo in the autonomous driving space, with experts pointing out that Tesla’s self-driving tech is “years behind” the competition.

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Stock.News has positions in Tesla, Uber, and Alphabet.