Multiple corporations have already made it clear what they think of Trump's tariffs. Walmart, Lowes, and even the swoosh mark (Nike) have gone on the record to smear the President elect’s idea. Well, add one of the most powerful companies known to man to that list. I'm not talking about BlackRock or Nvidia... I'm talking about Costco (the holy grail of oversized everything and suspiciously affordable rotisserie chickens). And if you were hoping for Costco to play nice, sorry to disappoint. Their CFO, Gary Millerchip, just dropped a subtle (yet savage) warning during the company’s earnings call.

Let’s break it down in case your economics degree got lost in the mail. Tariffs are essentially a glorified import tax meant to make foreign goods pricier so we can pump our fists for American manufacturing. Sounds great in theory, but Trump’s plan includes a 20% tariff on most imports and a whopping 60% tax on goods from China. So yeah, patriotic pep rally vibes… until you realize those costs are boomeranging straight back to you. Millerchip wasn’t subtle: “Tariffs raise costs, and that’s not something that we see as a positive.”

And don’t think Costco is about to take one for the team. Millerchip also pointed out that the uncertainty around tariffs makes planning for the future feel like trying to play chess blindfolded against a toddler who keeps eating the pieces. Sure, they’ve got some strategies… like stocking up on inventory and playing hardball with vendors but even Costco’s magic can only stretch so far. (And no, they can’t just slap a “Made in the USA” sticker on everything and call it a day.)

The irony here is rich (unlike us, if these tariffs hit). Costco’s whole brand is about saving you money. They’ve already weathered shipping strikes and inflation without flipping the table, but tariffs? That’s a curveball no one’s really ready for. And while only 25% of Costco’s inventory is non-food items, and not all of those are imports, it doesn’t take a crystal ball to see that prices are likely to climb. First it’ll be your favorite trail mix, then the giant packs of toilet paper… and before you know it, you’re justifying $20 for a bag of frozen shrimp.

And don’t look to Trump for reassurance, because he straight-up said, “I can’t guarantee anything” when asked if consumers would feel the pinch. That’s like your landlord saying, “Hey, it’s an old house. I can’t guarantee the roof won’t collapse, but hey, best of luck.”

So here we are, folks. Costco’s doing its best to prepare for the inevitable, but as Millerchip so eloquently put it, “When it rains, it pours.” And if these tariffs become law, expect it to be a monsoon all over your wallet. Costco’s still your ride-or-die, but even they can’t work miracles when Uncle Sam’s holding the bill. Let’s just sit back and see if Trump’s tariffs actually are as bad as all these companies say.

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